fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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