That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
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