making cat noises will not fix the situation.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
