if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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