Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
