I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
