A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
