I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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