Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
We just shotgunned beers for America
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I'm bleeding and have questions
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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