All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
