So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
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