I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
