Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
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