found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
