I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
