am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
