I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
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