Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
