i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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