Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
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