I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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