I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
