What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
