when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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