im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
