My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone says I win the strip club
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize