I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
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