Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
