I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
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