and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize