We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
