i barfeds in our rink
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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