I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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