She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
where are my pants?
in the oven.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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