Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
