You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
