Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
