i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
