No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
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