Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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