this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
