It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize
