why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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