so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
