is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
