idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
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