I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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