I want to stick my p in your. b.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
the liver wants what the liver wants
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
