you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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