Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
My vagina is very pro this idea
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
