did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
