I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize
