i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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