Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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