Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
