Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
