Have you finally orgasmed yet?
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize