party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
