Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize