Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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