my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
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