He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
