Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Randomize
