You made me cry and you don't even care
: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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