Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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