then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Randomize
